A Day in the Life of a Dragon: Fire-Breathing and Fine Dining

6:00 AM: Wake up in my cave, stretch my wings, and accidentally singe my hoard. Note to self: Install fire-resistant carpeting.

7:30 AM: Morning flight around the kingdom. Wave to terrified villagers. They're so cute when they run screaming.

9:00 AM: Breakfast time! Today's special: Flame-broiled knight in shining armor. Armor doubles as a toothpick.

10:30 AM: Yoga and meditation. "Om" sounds suspiciously like a roar. Nearby monastery evacuates.

12:00 PM: Lunch meeting with the local witch. Discuss timeshare options for her gingerbread house.

2:00 PM: Afternoon nap on a mountain peak. Wake up with a flock of confused eagles nesting in my horns.

4:00 PM: Pillage a village. Mostly for the alliteration, if I'm honest.

6:00 PM: Evening flight. Play "catch the fireball" with myself. Win every time.

8:00 PM: Dinner at home. Heat up leftover princess. Still tastes like hopes and dreams.

10:00 PM: Curl up with a good book. "To Serve Man" is a bit dry, but the recipes are to die for.

11:00 PM: Bedtime. Count sheep, eat sheep, eventually fall asleep.

And there you have it, folks. Just another day in the life of yours truly. Remember, if you can't stand the heat, stay out of the dragon's lair!